Ever since she wis wee, Ailsa had an awfa habit ae sleep-walkin. Maist weans at some point or ither huv gied their parents a hert-stoappin fright by staunin beside thur beids hauf-asleep in the hauf-light, but Ailsa wis different. She’d dae it every single nicht. She’d mix it up though, almaist as if she wis tryin tae keep it interestin fur them. Sometimes she’d crouch at the end ae their beid, airms tucked against her chest as if she wis haudin somethin precious — a goblin in the gloom. Ither times, she’d sit crosslegged oan the flair, jist starin at hersel in a mirror.
Her parents goat used tae it. Upon sensin her presence in the room they’d still wake up wae a start every time, but it became diluted by nichtly routine. Her mither wid stroke her hair and say some soothin wurds: ‘Yer fine, darling. Awa back tae yer bed.’ Usually those comfortin sounds, that gentle touch, wid get through the fuzz ae her fugue, and Ailsa wid shuffle back tae her room. Her mither wid listen in the dark, ears pricked, fur the familiar sound ae Ailsa’s door closin ower. Sometimes though, Ailsa wid crawl intae her parents beid and cuddle intae them. When she awoke in the mornin, she’d blink in confusion at the unfamiliar ceilin fur a few moments, like when ye spend the nicht in a hotel.
‘Most children grow out of their penchant for sleep-walking,’ the doctor assured her parents, ‘she will settle down soon I’m sure.’ But if anyhin, Ailsa goat worse as she goat aulder. By her early teens, she’d added a few mair activities tae her nichtly repertoire. She started sleep-talkin, fur wan. Oan the nichts she appeared at her parents’ beidside she’d noo mutter awa in her sleep, sayin hings like:
‘They want me tae go wae thum.’
‘Who dae? Go whur?’
Ailsa widnae reply. In the mornin, her mither wid ask if she remembert whit she’d said in her sleep and Ailsa wid shake her heid. In truth, she could recall her ane wurds jist fine. Even durin her sleep-walkin, she wis vaguely aware ae whit she wis daein, though she didnae alwis know why she wis daein it. But when she tried tae focus oan the dreams themsels — like who “they” wur and whur exactly they wanted her tae go — her thoughts became blurry. If she concentrated really hard, an image wid flash in her mind ae cobwebs and clasped hauns, but any mair detail wis tantalisingly oot ae reach.
As time went oan, Ailsa started tae interact wae mair hings too. Wan mornin, she woke up in her ane bed and felt somethin pressin against her side. She fished between her sheets and pulled oot the plastic thermostat which usually sat oan a bookcase in the hall.
‘Huv ye seen yon thermostat, Ailsa?’ her faither ower his granola, ‘Need tae crank it up, it’s baltic in here theday.’
‘Aye, ah saw it this mornin, it’s whur it usually is. Oan the bookcase.’
His brows narrowed in confusion. ‘Ur ye sure? Ah couldnae find it earlier.’
She shrugged. She wis quite sure, efter aw, she’d jist sneakily popped it back in place oan her way intae the kitchen.
A few nichts later, Ailsa woke up in the shower, watter batterin doon oan her heid and soakin through her jammies. She dried herself aff wae a towel as she couldnae risk switchin oan the hairdryer at 4.32am. She went back tae bed wae damp hair, hopin she widnae catch a chill.
Efter that, she started tae roam further. Wan nicht, she dreamt she wis staunin oan a grassy knowe surroondit by wispy figures, whose claithes wur spun fae cobwebs. A weird whistle emanated fae them, like a chant. Wan ae the figures stood in the centre ae the knowe, its shadowy hauns clasped thegither. It nodded at Ailsa, beckonin fur her tae come closer. She took a few tentative steps forward and when it reached oot tae touch her, she woke up.
Ailsa found hersel huddled oan the front doorstep, still in her jammies, airms wrapped aroon hersel. The smooth pavin stane wis icy cauld against her bare feet. Her heid still rang wae the eerie sound ae thur whistlin. Ailsa wis feart, her hert pounding in her chest, but she decided no tae tell her parents aboot it. They’d jist worry, she reasoned. As quietly as she could, she slipped back intae the hoose and intae her bed. Heid back oan her pillow, her extremities tinglin, she remembert the shadowy figures fae her dream, clear as day. They lingered oan the edges as sleep took her.
The very next nicht efter that, Ailsa goat up and wandered intae the hall. She wisnae fully awa in a dwam, but she wisnae awake either. The whistlin fae the nicht before echoed through her boady, creepin its way intae her bones. She didnae try tae go ootside this time, insteid, she wis bein pulled, guided, deeper intae her hoose. Jist ootside her parent’s bedroom, a shaft fae a streetlight shone through a windae, formin a perfect white rectangle, projectit against the dark waw. In her fugue state, Ailsa wis convinced it wis a blank sheet ae paper.
And she needed tae write oan it — urgently.
She knelt doon oan the carpet and used her fingernail tae etch an illegible scribble intae the waw.
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
The noise didnae waken her parents. Maybe they dismissed it as being Tuggs, the faimily cat, clawin at the door. Wae Ailsa’s evenin adventures, they hud tae snatch a few oors ae sleep whenever they could.
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Ailsa scraped and scraped awa at the waw in a rough approximation ae cursive writin. She peeled back paint then plaster, maist ae it scatterin oan the flair like a bad case ae dandruff, the rest embeddin unner her fingernails. The entire time, she wis hauf-aware ae whur she wis, hauf-conscious that whit she wis daein made nae sense. But the ither hauf — the louder hauf — wis determined tae inscribe this illuminated letter. Faster and faster she wrote, and that hauf ae her grew in confidence wae every wurd and symbol carved intae the waw.
She reached the bottom ae the rectangle ae light and scratched in her signature wae a final flourish. But efter aw that scrapin and clawin, the fingernail ae her index finger had worn ragged. A flush ae pain caused Ailsa tae wake up wae a scream. Her fingernail had ripped back and a spurt ae blood spattered against the papery light oan the waw. She woke wae a clear heid, the sharp pain focusin her thoughts, and in the hauf-light she thought the blot ae her blood looked like a wax seal, the kind ancient fowk stamped oan auld letters.
Whit did ah write? Whit did ah jist sign?
Before she could hink oan this any langer, her parents ran intae the hall and took in the scene. Her mither fussed ower her fingernail, which wis still hingin there jist barely attached, throbbin and pulsin, while her faither went straight tae anger.
‘Cannae keep gaun oan like this,’ he said. ‘Look at the state ae this. Ae her! She needs locked up!’
‘Wheesht, you!’ hissed Ailsa’s mither. ‘Dinnae say hings like that in front ae her, she’s no sleepin noo, is she?’
‘Who even knows any mair?’ He rubbed his temples, then his eyes. ‘Is it her time ae the month or somethin?’
‘Idiot,’ said Ailsa’s mither unner her breath. ‘Dae somethin useful and get the first aid kit.’ She stroked Ailsa’s hair, like she alwis used tae dae when she wis a wee girl. ‘Dae ye want tae sleep in wae us the nicht, sweethert?’
Ailsa wis embarrassed at the thought. She wis too auld fur that noo. ‘Naw, ah’ll be alright. Sorry fur botherin youse, ah… ah dinnae ken why this happens.’
‘Me neither, baby doll. But dinnae ye worry, we’ll get it sortit. And ignore yer da, he gets awfa crabbit when he’s no hud enough sleep.’
Fur the next couple ae nichts, there wis peace. Ailsa slept right through, or at least her wanderins wur so minor that neither she, nor her parents, wur aware ae any comins or goins. It wis a blessed relief fur aw involved. Ailsa awoke feelin refreshed, bar the stoon in her injured finger, while her parents dared tae wonder if, finally, she had grown oot ae her nicht-time habit.
But oan the third nicht since she’d made her bloody signature, Ailsa went wanderin wance mair. Right oan midnicht, she walked intae the hall, took the keys fae the hook, unlocked the back door, and stepped oot intae the cauld nicht air. And this time, she went beyond the doorstep. She moved intae the gairden, sclimmed ower the back fence, and slipped intae the grassland beyond.
She wis still dully aware ae the pulsatin pain in her finger, but it wisnae enough tae rouse her fae her dwam. Mair insistent wis the return ae the whistlin. It grew louder and louder as she walked through the verdant grassland behind her hoose. Her bare feet and ankles brushed against the soft leaves ae lady’s mantle, the snell breeze set quaking-grass tae rattle and dirl. But Ailsa wis numb tae it aw, apart fae the whistlin. She began tae stride across the grass, movin wae greater purpose and assurance wae every step.
Soon, a small knowe raised fae the grassland. A circle ae wispy, human shapes formed fae a mist that wisnae there. Ailsa had reached the source ae the whistlin, though it emanated fae amorphous shapes rather than pursed lips. Wan ae the figures swam towards her, lang tendrils trailin behind it like a horse’s mane. A cobwebbed garb gave form tae the formless. The figure extended a haun ae congealed air and Ailsa took it.
They sank doon intae the knowe, as if the groon wis made ae quicksand. Ailsa woke up in darkness, unafraid. She wis whur she wis supposed tae be.
